12 years ago...

On Nov. 17, 1999, I gave my life to Christ. I woke up the next morning a new person. Desires I had days before had disappeared and all of a sudden I was on fire for the Lord. Best feeling in the whole world. Eventually, life got in the way. I stopped reading my Bible and stopped attending church, not because I didn't believe, I just began to put other things ahead of God. Mostly my children, myself, t.v., I always had an excuse. I got to the point where I couldn't even pray anymore. Satan had pulled me so far away that I felt mentally incapable of praying. I had pushed away many of my friends and family members with my judgmental and condescending attitude towards any opinion that disagreed with my own. My marriage was being held together merely by the fact that neither one of us had anywhere else to go. It is only by God's grace that He called us back early this year and woke us up from our self-indulgent, unhappy life that we had somehow spiraled into. I thank Him every day that we were given another chance to honor Him with our life. Life has been so crazy this year and unpredictable, but we have this joy in us that is not from man. How do I know Jesus is real? I know because the second we gave Him our lives, our hopes and our dreams, He changed everything about us. He made His desires our own. Our marriage is night and day different from what it was. Our family is Christ-centered, our children see us reading our Bibles everyday now and know more worship songs than I can count. We are involved in a ministry that is changing lives before our eyes. All this, just since February. I'm telling you, give God the reigns and it is unbelievable what He can do. I can't and won't even try to imagine what this next year will look like, I'm just excited about it.

I had to explain to someone the other day what our "plan" looks like in the next few months, someone that doesn't quite have the same outlook as we do. I didn't know how to respond at the time and probably came off looking a bit crazy and flaky. Immediately after the conversation, I sat down and pulled out a Bible and God led me immediately to James 4:13-15:

"Now listen, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money." Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, "If it is the Lord's will, we will live and do this or that."

So, this is our 5 year plan. "If it is the Lord's will, we will live and do this or that." As long as we continue to obey Him and walk in His will, I have no worries, only joy. 

Father, thank you. Thank you so much. Amen. 

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