Attitude adjustment needed

It's been a long week. We had two court appearances this week, with the 2nd being for Miss A and Baby K this afternoon. Thankfully there were no surprises, it consisted only of birth mom signing off on her 6 month plan, which took until 5pm. I was really hoping my husband would make it home early on this beautiful day!! I don't want to complain though, actually, I do want to complain. Therein lies my problem. What I want is to not want to complain. :) I feel so short of my joyful self this week, leaving me wondering what it is that I'm doing wrong. I'm having consistent time in God's Word. I'm praying, albeit, somewhat grumpily. I'm not necessarily worried about what's going to happen with the kids. I'm a little sad because it's looking very promising that A and K will go back to mom in 6 months. I keep telling myself that if mom gets things together and gets them back, that's a good thing, because then we'll be able to help more children. It's a lot easier said than done though. And I know I'm totally getting ahead of myself here, but it's pretty impossible to not think about when you look into the biggest brown eyes of the chubbiest cheeked little boy that I've fallen in love with who calls me mama. Miss A, my 4 yr old, will do just fine. She clearly favors her mother over me and that's good. I'm glad she's still so attached to her even after being away from her for over half a year. I'm thankful that she'll be school age if she goes back and the teachers will be able to keep an eye on things. Everyone will be okay. Right? I'm already planning a vacation in my mind with the other 4 children if reunification does occur in September. Nothing like Disney World to take your mind off things! :) Then my mind wanders to not taking anymore children after that, and God says, "You're taking more children," and I'm like, "I know." And He says, "Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Matthew 6:34

God is in control. He is sovereign. I read this today in a Max Lucado devotional talking about the day when Christ returns... "I'm speculating now, but I wonder if Christ might say these words to you: "I'm so proud that you let me use you. Because of you, others are here today. Would you like to meet them?"

That's all that matters.

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