Looking back...


God has really done a lot in my life this past month. He has drawn me closer to Him, He has opened my eyes and broken my heart even more for the things of this world that break His. He is moving in our life in a big way and if you've followed our family for long, you know that when God calls us to something, it's usually pretty crazy. :) I am excited to take small steps of obedience right now to prepare us to take big ones in the future. In regards to our foster care journey, I've really surrendered to God's will for our sibling set of 3, like REALLY surrendered. I have been confronted by my biggest fear and found God is there with me giving me peace. We have court again in a month and we've been told for the 3rd or 4th time now that we will know more about permanency planning afterwards. The kids will have been in the system for 2 YEARS this August. I think that is nuts, but apparently that is pretty common. I really don't know how people do this without Christ, because so much of it is faith and trusting that He's working it all out even if we can't see it. Whenever I get anxious thoughts, I just slowly go through my timeline of how God called us to this, how we quit and He called us back, how we said "Yes" to a handful of children, but they all fell through but then God brought our Hannah, who we adopted. I think about how God somehow got us to say yes to two more children, pushing our total to 6 kids in a 1200sqft house. Then He blessed us with a PERFECT house in a small town that we love and then He blessed us with our 7th child. But, if He had told me 2 years ago when we had started that we would still be in the middle of this case with a sibling set of 3 and that the chances of them leaving us were an even 50/50, I would have said, "Thanks God, but no thanks." God is so smart not showing us the future! :)  Looking back, I would not change a thing about this experience. He has used every bit to make me more like Him. Who would have thought that He might have a plan that we most likely would not have chosen if He had shown us all the steps it would take to get there? He really does know what He's doing. Trust Him.


“For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways,”
declares the Lord.
“As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts. Isaiah 55:8-9

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