Thursday, November 21, 2013

You Shouldn't Become a Foster Parent

You shouldn't become a foster parent if:

You're doing this for you. This isn't something you do to make yourself feel better. You won't get much appreciation for it, even from people who you'd think would appreciate you. Our family does it for Him, to share our incredible blessings with the "least of these," the less fortunate, the needy, the poor. I look around at everyone we grew up with, associate with for the most part. We are all so incredibly blessed. We were born in the U.S.A. We have garages where we put our cars that our immensely nicer than millions of people's homes all over the world. Why have we been blessed so much? Is it to sit in our comfort, while others starve to death? Is it to have an elliptical in our guest room while a 4 year old sits in a shelter during the holidays? 1 John 3:17 says, "If anyone has material possessions and sees a brother or sister in need but has no pity on them, how can the love of God be in that person?" 

You want to be certain of the future. It was this week 2 years ago that we picked up our surprise from God, well, one of our surprises. When we began our fostering journey, we planned on fostering 1 child, for a total of 4 kids in our 1100 sqft house. God had different plans. We already had 1 foster child, our now adopted daughter, Hannah. We wanted to help in some other way though. He connected us with people who were working with the shelters to get children out just for the day during the holidays. We said yes to that with no idea that through that simple decision, we would end up with a sibling set of 3 that we have had for almost 2 years now and complete our family of 9 in ways that only God could ordain (and provide us with a MUCH bigger house.) Hallelujah! Uncertainty is a given on this journey. Accept it, embrace it, grow your faith and seek Him through it. You just never know. If you try to predict or control the outcome of the case, you will only be disappointed. Only God knows and you have to continually remind yourself of Romans 8:28. "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."

You want to stay the same. I tell people often, "If you want to be more like Jesus, become a foster parent." He challenges and changes you in ways that you never thought were possible, which is AWESOME, because then He gets the glory. But it is just as HARD as it is AWESOME. It is hard to trust Jesus, like really trust Him with children that you love like your own. I am controlling and prideful and just full of sin and everyday He forgives me and helps me change gradually with the situations He places in front of me. I can fight them, and I have and I still struggle with wanting to be right, or I can pray, and I can trust and I can love and give grace. He has placed every single person on our path during this journey for a reason. We might be the only people they see who are following the true Christ. You will live out Matthew 16:24 every day. "Then Jesus said to his disciples, "Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me." 

Lord, glorify Your name. I need to give this whole journey back to You again. Take it. I trust You. I trust these children to You. I trust that You are sovereign over every single detail of this journey. Soften my heart, humble me and please, make me more like You. "He must become greater; I must become less." John 3:30
By this everyone will know that you are my disciples,
 if you love one another. John 13:35

2 comments:

Mie said...

This is a great post. One thing I'd add (in the comments so readers can consider it also) is that while I agree 100% with what is written here, it wasn't until AFTER I became a foster parent that I came to that conclusion. I didn't start out thinking "Jesus calls us to care fo the little ones and we have an abudance and I want to care for them while he perfects my heart". Nope - I'm there now but it started out as "we're infertile and can't have anymore children..what are our options"?

SO, if you're out there in MY kind of position and seek to be a foster parent, that's ok. If you're on the fence or even if you think "it's not for you" (like almost everyone I meet tells me)consider it. Pray about it. Go to the informational meeting. And then be prepared to have your heart transformed like mine has been to be passionate about compassion for children who need temporary or permanant loving homes.

Aspiring Foster Mama said...

Sure - I totally agree with you! I just wish someone had told me some of this when we were just starting out. I was mainly gearing the post towards the Christian audience doing it out of obedience to the Word. I can't relate or word things appropriately for those struggling with infertility, so I appreciate your comment!

Thursday, November 21, 2013

You Shouldn't Become a Foster Parent

You shouldn't become a foster parent if:

You're doing this for you. This isn't something you do to make yourself feel better. You won't get much appreciation for it, even from people who you'd think would appreciate you. Our family does it for Him, to share our incredible blessings with the "least of these," the less fortunate, the needy, the poor. I look around at everyone we grew up with, associate with for the most part. We are all so incredibly blessed. We were born in the U.S.A. We have garages where we put our cars that our immensely nicer than millions of people's homes all over the world. Why have we been blessed so much? Is it to sit in our comfort, while others starve to death? Is it to have an elliptical in our guest room while a 4 year old sits in a shelter during the holidays? 1 John 3:17 says, "If anyone has material possessions and sees a brother or sister in need but has no pity on them, how can the love of God be in that person?" 

You want to be certain of the future. It was this week 2 years ago that we picked up our surprise from God, well, one of our surprises. When we began our fostering journey, we planned on fostering 1 child, for a total of 4 kids in our 1100 sqft house. God had different plans. We already had 1 foster child, our now adopted daughter, Hannah. We wanted to help in some other way though. He connected us with people who were working with the shelters to get children out just for the day during the holidays. We said yes to that with no idea that through that simple decision, we would end up with a sibling set of 3 that we have had for almost 2 years now and complete our family of 9 in ways that only God could ordain (and provide us with a MUCH bigger house.) Hallelujah! Uncertainty is a given on this journey. Accept it, embrace it, grow your faith and seek Him through it. You just never know. If you try to predict or control the outcome of the case, you will only be disappointed. Only God knows and you have to continually remind yourself of Romans 8:28. "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."

You want to stay the same. I tell people often, "If you want to be more like Jesus, become a foster parent." He challenges and changes you in ways that you never thought were possible, which is AWESOME, because then He gets the glory. But it is just as HARD as it is AWESOME. It is hard to trust Jesus, like really trust Him with children that you love like your own. I am controlling and prideful and just full of sin and everyday He forgives me and helps me change gradually with the situations He places in front of me. I can fight them, and I have and I still struggle with wanting to be right, or I can pray, and I can trust and I can love and give grace. He has placed every single person on our path during this journey for a reason. We might be the only people they see who are following the true Christ. You will live out Matthew 16:24 every day. "Then Jesus said to his disciples, "Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me." 

Lord, glorify Your name. I need to give this whole journey back to You again. Take it. I trust You. I trust these children to You. I trust that You are sovereign over every single detail of this journey. Soften my heart, humble me and please, make me more like You. "He must become greater; I must become less." John 3:30
By this everyone will know that you are my disciples,
 if you love one another. John 13:35

2 comments:

Mie said...

This is a great post. One thing I'd add (in the comments so readers can consider it also) is that while I agree 100% with what is written here, it wasn't until AFTER I became a foster parent that I came to that conclusion. I didn't start out thinking "Jesus calls us to care fo the little ones and we have an abudance and I want to care for them while he perfects my heart". Nope - I'm there now but it started out as "we're infertile and can't have anymore children..what are our options"?

SO, if you're out there in MY kind of position and seek to be a foster parent, that's ok. If you're on the fence or even if you think "it's not for you" (like almost everyone I meet tells me)consider it. Pray about it. Go to the informational meeting. And then be prepared to have your heart transformed like mine has been to be passionate about compassion for children who need temporary or permanant loving homes.

Aspiring Foster Mama said...

Sure - I totally agree with you! I just wish someone had told me some of this when we were just starting out. I was mainly gearing the post towards the Christian audience doing it out of obedience to the Word. I can't relate or word things appropriately for those struggling with infertility, so I appreciate your comment!