Looking back...

God has really done a lot in my life this past month. He has drawn me closer to Him, He has opened my eyes and broken my heart even more for the things of this world that break His. He is moving in our life in a big way and if you've followed our family for long, you know that when God calls us to something, it's usually pretty crazy. :) I am excited to take small steps of obedience right now to prepare us to take big ones in the future. In regards to our foster care journey, I've really surrendered to God's will for our sibling set of 3, like REALLY surrendered. I have been confronted by my biggest fear and found God is there with me giving me peace. We have court again in a month and we've been told for the 3rd or 4th time now that we will know more about permanency planning afterwards. The kids will have been in the system for 2 YEARS this August. I think that is nuts, but apparently that is pretty common. I really don't know how people do this without Christ, because so much of it is faith and trusting that He's working it all out even if we can't see it. Whenever I get anxious thoughts, I just slowly go through my timeline of how God called us to this, how we quit and He called us back, how we said "Yes" to a handful of children, but they all fell through but then God brought our Hannah, who we adopted. I think about how God somehow got us to say yes to two more children, pushing our total to 6 kids in a 1200sqft house. Then He blessed us with a PERFECT house in a small town that we love and then He blessed us with our 7th child. But, if He had told me 2 years ago when we had started that we would still be in the middle of this case with a sibling set of 3 and that the chances of them leaving us were an even 50/50, I would have said, "Thanks God, but no thanks." God is so smart not showing us the future! :)  Looking back, I would not change a thing about this experience. He has used every bit to make me more like Him. Who would have thought that He might have a plan that we most likely would not have chosen if He had shown us all the steps it would take to get there? He really does know what He's doing. Trust Him.

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts,

neither are your ways my ways,”

declares the Lord.

“As the heavens are higher than the earth,

so are my ways higher than your ways

and my thoughts than your thoughts. Isaiah 55:8-9

Bad news = peace?

We got some news the other day about our case regarding our sibling set of 3. It is unexpected and not in the best interest of the children, in my opinion. The strangest thing about it though is that the Lord has filled me with peace ever since. Many times, when I would stew on the possibility of this happening over the past 15 months, I was filled with anxiety and worry. Now that I am almost face to face with my greatest fear regarding this case, the Lord has given me peace and faith that He knows best. So now, I have learned that when He says, "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself..." He is saying that He will provide me with the peace and strength I will need on THAT day if it should come. If I worry about it beforehand, I am only showing Him my lack of faith, which is insulting to Him.

I am focusing on enjoying every day and trying not to mourn them while they are still here. Nothing is final yet and I am confident that God will prevail and be glorified in the lives of these children, I just don't know if it will include me watching them grow up. Please pray and intercede for these children with me on Monday when we have court. He loves them so much and I know He is going to do great things in their life!

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance." James 1:2-3

My mini "aspiring foster mama"

My precious Maggie had so much fun today playing "foster mama" with her baby dolls. I love her heart so much. It reminded me of my favorite quote by Steven Furtick... 

"I don’t want to raise good boys and girls. I want to raise great men and women who will do great things for a great God. I’m not raising my kids to survive the world. I’m raising them to change it." -Steven Furtick

Proud mama

Swaddled babies... lol 

Pressing On...

I have 7 children right now. Wow. It doesn't even seem real to me when I say it out loud  In case you're unaware of their ages, let me tell you... 6, 5, 5, 3, 2, 1, and 7 weeks. Yeah, I'm pretty busy. I've wanted to blog, but we've been dealing with some things that have prevented me from sharing my feelings publicly. Most times, I feel like I need to show this super joyful stay-at-home foster mom who is homeschooling her children while memorizing Bible verses and spending quality time with all said children, but that is not the case most days.  I have had a hard time these past few months. The constant contact with DHS, CASA, and birth parents is really wearing me ragged. If you can even begin to imagine taking care of 7 kids and on top of that having to remember to document everything, have your house always "ready" for an unannounced visit by a caseworker, making sure you don't say anything that could be taken out of context and used to slander you at court, it is enough to drive anyone bananas. I don't like to talk about negatives because I would hate to discourage anyone from becoming a foster parent, but this is real life. Even though it sucks sometimes and I really would just love to go on a vacation from it all, I am trusting that it is worth it. I KNOW these kids are worth it. I wouldn't give them up for anything. Even when they come home from a 5 hour long visit with mom and they misbehave and disrespect me for the rest of the day and most of the next, they are still worth every frustration, tear and sleepless night I lay awake thinking about the "what if's."

I prayed a prayer today and just told Jesus what was up. It went something like this... "My whole being is empty. I feel like I have nothing left of myself to give. I know that you do your best work with the weakest people. Father, I am so weak right now. I am not joyful. I am frustrated, depressed and bitter. I don't want to do this anymore. You know my heart and that this is not my true desire. Please send your Holy Spirit to fill me up and show your love and grace to these children, DHS and everyone involved. Lord, I will know it is from you if you give me love, because I am full of frustration and anger right now."

I hate to even say that sometimes I doubt this wonderful Lord who has blessed me so much, but I didn't know if He would take away my spirit of helplessness today. He did though. I put some Christian music on and had a dance party with my babies and I have truly been full of joy ever since. Spending time on my face in prayer seems like something I should be doing more often. The deeper we get in this journey, the closer we should be getting to God, because that's the point of everything we're doing. It's not to adopt 100 kids or recruit 100 foster parents, but to become more like Jesus and less like me.

"I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." Phil. 3:14

Hannah's Story

I write this post with the hope that it personalizes the children in the foster care system. In Oklahoma, there are over 9,000 children in state custody right now. They are more than a name, a number and a file. They each have a story that deserves to be heard. This is Hannah's.

The first picture I saw of my baby girl. 

In October 2011, as we were finishing up our foster parent certification, I read a news story about a baby girl named Hannah, who was missing. I saw her picture and read that Hannah's mom was mentally ill and needed to check herself into the hospital, so she left Hannah with a woman she had just met. Once she was admitted to the hospital and asked where her daughter was, she couldn't remember. 10 month old Hannah was officially a missing child. I stopped what I was doing and prayed right then for this baby girl and her mother, who seemed like she was doing the only thing she knew to do at that point in her life.

My sweet, tired girl after they found her. 

By God's grace, the woman that Hannah was left with, was a good woman and took good care of her until she saw the news story about her being a missing child. At that point she was taken into DHS custody and placed into an emergency foster home.  She stayed there for a week, with an incredible family, until our certification was finished and we received the long awaited phone call with a list of children needing homes. They must have ran through 20 children with a short summary of their stories. We had been planning for a newborn, so when they told us that a 3 day old baby boy was available, I immediately told my husband that I wanted him. As I walked away, I started praying, "Lord, is that what you want?" He immediately told me, "Take the 10 month old baby girl." So I ran back and told Seth, "Tell them never mind,  I want the baby girl. Is it too late? I want the baby girl." I had no idea until we picked her up and saw her face that this was the same baby girl that I prayed for a couple weeks earlier.

You know most of Hannah's story from this point on. Her birth mom loved her very much, but was unable to care for her safely. She passed away close to a year after Hannah went into custody and after she had relinquished her rights so that we could adopt her. Hannah's birth father has adult children already and was not interested in caring for a toddler and forfeited his rights early on in the process.

I look at my precious, 2 year old girl now and she is happy, healthy and ornery. :) Sometimes I think, "What if we had said no? What if we chose being comfortable and safe over becoming foster parents? What if our certification had finished on time and didn't take an extra 3 months? What if we had taken that baby boy instead?" So many little steps of obedience and faith led us to our beautiful daughter, Hannah Grace. How much greater is HIS plan than ours? Can you even begin to imagine what His plans are for her life after a beginning story like this?

Thank you Father for every single delay and obstacle that turned out to be Your hand and Your favor on us and Hannah. Thank you for protecting my baby girl while she wasn't with me. She is one heck of a miracle. Glory to God.

Our big girl!

Trusting GOD

So, we have been INCREDIBLY blessed these past couple of weeks. Baby sis came to join us and OH MY GOODNESS, she is a tiny miracle disguised as a baby. Our adoption of Hannah was finalized!! God is good! People have been blessing us with money for Christmas, toys for the kids and stacks of diapers! We are humbled by the generosity of our friends and family. Please know that we are constantly thanking God for you.

In the midst of all the blessings, Satan is coming on strong trying to discourage us. A couple weeks ago I felt like God wanted me to fast and focus on the fruit of self-control. I was successful for part of the fast. lol I did find some great scriptures and teaching on self-control though. Now it is easy to see why He laid that on my heart because I have really needed to use some self-control the past few days when it comes to DHS and other people involved in our sibling case. Just like the fast, I have been only partially successful in my self-control and have yelled at and hung up on a caseworker this week because of decisions that they are making that are clearly not in the best interest of the children that I have taken care of for the past year. After that incident, I passed all communication between DHS and our family to Seth, who is much better at remaining calm in the face of adversity than I am. I had to pull out one of my all time favorite books, Trusting God, by Jerry Bridges, to refocus. It reminded me that whenever we face trials, God is always trying to teach us something. He never wastes adversity. There is so much good info in this book, I cannot recommend it enough. "If God is going to use you and me, He will bring adversity into our lives so that we, too, may learn experientially our dependence on Him." -Jerry Bridges

Please lift our family up in prayer. I have so much more to work on when it comes to my parenting, my relationship with Seth, and especially my relationship with Christ. All I want is for God to get the glory for all we do and I feel like I fail Him so often. God uses us to do great things because we are so imperfect, so that He can get the glory. I am so weak in so many areas, that it just continues to boggle my mind that God can use me to inspire or encourage others. I am so thankful though that I have grown in my faith enough to turn to Him during these times, because even a year ago, I would never have thought, "What is God trying to teach me through this? How is He using this to make me more like Him?" I am growing and can honestly say that I am very close to "considering it all joy when I face trials of many kinds, because I know that the testing of my faith produces perseverance!!" James 1:2-3

I want to end this post with gratitude and pictures from our adoption of Hannah - SHE IS SO WORTH THE TRIALS WE WENT THROUGH!!

With our amazing caseworker, Amanda! So blessed by her!

With our good friend, Jessica. Such a blessing to our family!

Judge Kirby is awesome!! 

Hannah Grace!!! 

Forever sisters!

Giving the glory to GOD! Thank you JESUS!

 *Pictures donated by Allison Wheeler at Poetry and Prose Photography

It's been awhile...

Just a quick update. Baby sis was born yesterday morning. We now have to wait for a judge to approve the request for removal from bio parents. That usually takes 3-5 days. Once that happens, we will hopefully get the call to come pick her up. We are hoping for next Monday.

Court for our sibling set is tomorrow. We've been told that all that is happening is a date is being set for the termination trial. We will see...

On Monday, 12/17, our adoption of Hannah Grace will be finalized!!!!! I can't wait to post pictures. Keep us all in your prayers please!

1 church, 1 family, 1 purpose

Psalm 68:5-6 says, "God sets the lonely in families," not "God sets the lonely in shelters." I've seen this video multiple times, but can't help but break down every time I hear the part about the 2 year old crying for his bubba. I put my children in their shoes and it just feeds the fire in my soul to help these children and these families. Please watch and share. For more information, visit 111project.org



111 Project from Shawn McEntyre on Vimeo.

Psalm 20

I've been starting my day this month with a Psalm and a Proverb. I just love it and I look forward to it every day. I really enjoyed Psalm 20 this morning and thought I'd post it. :)

Psalm 20

"May the Lord answer you when you are in distress;

may the name of the God of Jacob protect you.

 May he send you help from the sanctuary

and grant you support from Zion.

 May he remember all your sacrifices

and accept your burnt offerings.

 May he give you the desire of your heart

and make all your plans succeed.

May we shout for joy over your victory

and lift up our banners in the name of our God.

May the Lord grant all your requests.

Now this I know:

The Lord gives victory to his anointed.

He answers him from his heavenly sanctuary

with the victorious power of his right hand.

Some trust in chariots and some in horses,

but we trust in the name of the Lord our God.

They are brought to their knees and fall,

but we rise up and stand firm.

Lord, give victory to the king!

Answer us when we call!" 

It's been 1 year??

Love at first sight!

Oh my goodness, in so many ways it feels soooo much longer and in other ways, it's hard to believe it's been a year already. A year ago today, we sat in the DHS parking lot waiting for Hannah's visit with Mama D to be over. We sat with hearts pounding in our chest as we saw Mama D come out and get in a friend's car. We walked into the building, went up the elevator and as we went around the corner and walked into a bright yellow room, we were greeted by the biggest smiles you could ever receive from a baby you'd never met before. I truly believe that God had showed her our faces, because the caseworker even noted in her observations how comfortable she was with us instantly. She laughed and smiled as soon as we sat down to play with her.

Dear Hannah Grace,
Sweet girl, we love you so much. You have grown so much this year, as have we! I had no idea how long we would get to keep you, love you and protect you, but God did. Your adoption should be finalized next month and you will be stuck with us forever! To look back and see how God brought you to us, is nothing short of miraculous. We said "yes" to 4 other babies that all got placed by God with someone else, just so you could be with us. Oh, what GREAT plans He has for your life baby girl and OH how He loves you! He protected your body, your mind and your heart those 9 months in Mama D's belly and the 10 months you weren't with us.What a miracle you are! We love you more than the sky and hope and pray that we will be the parents that God called us to be for you and your siblings.
-Mama and Daddy

Here are a few pictures from our first night home, one year ago.

"God will make this happen, for he who calls you is faithful."

1 Thessalonians 5:24

1 year later! :)

Snapshots

3 of my superheroes that "help" me every day. :) 

My oldest teaching his little sis how to ride a bike.  He has such a sweet heart and spirit. 

And then there's Maggie... classic Maggie. :)

So...

Has it been 90 days yet?? Since court 10 days ago, I've been trying to remember how to "enjoy the journey" in regards to our sibling set and our preggo birth mama. I need to be enjoying my sleep filled nights and the somewhat normalcy of our day before baby sibling graces us with her adorable presence, if and when that actually happens. You just never know. I am banking on my history with God though and all of my "I would never statements..." For example, I've said the following in the past: "I would never become a foster parent. I would never take a child older than 1. I would never invite the birth parents over to our house." And most recently, "I would never take a newborn now." I think God hears me say these things and He's like, "Oh ye of little faith, EVERTHING is possible with God. I'll show you." :) Because then I can give all the glory to HIM, because I never desired it in the first place. He put those desires in my heart.

Our recertification is next month and our adoption of Hannah is waiting on it to be completed and then she should be ours at our court date in November!! Woo hoo! I can't wait to see her name paired with our last. What an incredible blessing she is and I get to be her mommy. Thank you Jesus. Please remind me every day how blessed I am.

The hubs, loaded down with kids, getting ready to go on a walk. :) Gotta love it.

John 13:35

"By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” - John 13:35

In this journey as foster parents, this verse is our inspiration and our constant reminder of why we do what we do. Thank you to everyone for such wonderful compliments on our love towards these parents. I give all the glory and honor to the One who called us to this, our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Without Him, our selfish, sin nature would undoubtedly take over every day. 

What a blessing this is to get to minister and love these hurting people. What an honor it is for Seth to be asked to speak in front of hundreds on the importance of birth parent relationships. I still cannot believe this is our life. There are hard parts, no doubt, but please know that they do not compare at all to the joy and the blessings that have been bestowed on us during this journey. We thank God every single day for every part because we are certain that He will work it all out for His good and His glory. Can I get an amen? :) God is good. 

Butterflies

It's about that time. Court is next week for our sibling set and my belly is doing flips. As a reminder, this court date could decide whether rights will be terminated or if she will get more time to work her plan. In addition to that, it will also likely decide whether or not unborn sibling enters dhs custody when she's born. I have no idea what to expect since we have had 5 different caseworkers in 9 months. I'm not sure what I even want to happen, there are so many options. I can't believe it's already here. I told their birth mom I would go to support her, and I will go, but I really don't want to. I like to send my husband as the rep for our family. I hate court. I feel like I'm going to puke the whole time I'm there. Please pray for peace and understanding for everyone involved. Thank you.

House pictures, finally.

I have 5 out of 6 kids napping right now, so I thought I would take some quick pics since my kitchen is clean. I am going to show before and after so that you can see how incredibly hard my hubby has worked on this house. The house was completely gutted, as in there were no walls, ceilings, floors, etc. Due to some serious structural issues, it all had to be torn down and replaced. If you haven't seen the upstairs pics, here is the link to those. We still have a few things to do and finish, but we are so happy to be here and seeing Seth more!! It was a long 5 months without him!

The yellow that we painted most of the house is a soft, buttercream yellow. The camera and the light in the pictures don't do it justice, just an fyi. :)

Living room - before

Living room - after

Living room - after

Dining room -before

Dining room - after (yes, my picture is crooked.) 

Kitchen -before

Kitchen - after

"Stair room" - before

Stair room - after. Seth removed the wall separating it from the kitchen.

Master bath - before

Master bath - after (Seth combined two small bathrooms to make one giant one.)

Kids' bathroom - before (yep, that's carpet)

Kids' bathroom - after

Now the rest of the pics still need a little work and I have a napping child in one of the pictures, but if I don't post them now, it will likely never happen.

Master before

Master after

Our family closet! Most of our clothes fit in the large
master closet. This makes putting up laundry so much easier.

My mama organized most of this for us. She is a God-send!

To Do: :) This is our future schoolroom, currently it is our storage room. 

We are BLESSED!

Issues

We were notified yesterday that our 4th caseworker had quit in 10 months for our sibling group and we were being assigned another brand new caseworker, fresh out of training. We are having some issues with that and are actually having to contact supervisors of supervisors for the first time, knowingly angering someone. So many people use the excuse of not becoming foster parents because of DHS and the flaws in the system, which is a valid excuse for most. I just have to keep reminding myself that we didn't get into this to help DHS, we're in it for the kids. We do it so they can have a stable, safe and loving home while the court figures out where they will live permanently. We are their advocate. They are not just a name and a file to us. I was always told to make sure not to tick off anyone at DHS. Well, unfortunately, the time has come to tick someone off. Please pray that our concerns are addressed and remedied quickly.

Praying and Waiting

We love it here!

I almost titled this the other way around, "Waiting and Praying," but that has a totally different meaning! We are on the verge of some decisions, ones to be made by us and others to be made by a judge. I am seeking God and His will and trying to push my own desires and fears down, along with the expectations of others. I am waiting to make any big decisions until I have a peace in my heart that can only come from God and His Holy Spirit.

We have court in less than 4 weeks for our sibling set and I am expecting it to be a BIG day. It will not only affect us, our sibling set and the bio mom, but the unborn child she is carrying right now and the father of that baby. Unfortunately, DHS has not kept her as informed as they should and I think what is going to happen will be very hard for her to understand and process. I don't feel as though it is my place to let her know things that I assume are going to happen, but don't know for certain. We have been surprised many times during the course of this case. We would love prayer for our relationship with the bio mom after this next court date. I pray that it is not strained.

Our adoption of Hannah is being "swifted," which is an enormous blessing. Our caseworker has been nothing but STELLAR throughout all of the ups and downs of this case and I will forever be grateful to her. We have distant family members who would like to keep in touch with us and Hannah as well, which will be such a blessing for her as she grows up.

Seth has been asked to speak on the importance of relationships with birth parents at another statewide foster care conference. We are extremely excited to see what God will do with that experience.

We are currently praying about putting our two 4 year olds in public, all-day, Pre-K. I don't have a peace about it right now, but it is something that we are exploring further and trust that God will open or close the doors we need Him to so that we can make the right decision.

We moved a little over 2 weeks ago and LOVE IT. It seems to have fallen way down the list of priorities to update people on and I apologize for not getting pictures up yet.

I will walk by faith, even when I cannot see... because this broken road prepares your will for me. Oh Father - how great is YOUR love!!!! When we had no idea the outcome of this journey, we just trusted You and Your goodness!! Less than a year in to fostering, we have seen pain, healing, salvation and LOVE. I wouldn't trade this last year for anything. Our growth in YOU is astounding. Father we love you!! Continue to guide us every day!

Sad, sad day.

This morning I got a phone call that left me sobbing the rest of the day. Mama D, Baby H's birth mom, ended her life yesterday. She was supposed to come visit us at our new house next week. I just can't believe that she's gone. She served in the Navy for 8 years, left due to PTSD. She has since struggled with depression and other mental illness. The meds that she was on, left her unable to sleep more than 1 hour a night. She loved her daughter so much and she loved my other children too. The last time we saw her, two weeks ago, she brought a huge bag full of toys she had once again bought at a thrift store for all 6 kids. Oh, Mama D, we will miss you and we will share what a wonderful woman you were with your daughter, our daughter. I believe that you are finally at peace and resting with Jesus.

"There will be a day with no more tears

No more pain, and no more fears

There will be a day when the burdens of this place

Will be no more, we'll see Jesus face to face." - Jeremy Camp

Moving day...

looks awfully similar to every day. Pray for us!! :) 

.

Brighton's BIG News!

On July 26 my oldest son, Brighton, gave his life to Christ!! Sitting at the breakfast table the next morning, he told me that when he was lying in bed the night before, he had "given God his heart." :) We talked about it to make sure he understood what it meant and Seth and I were so excited to find out that he made such a big and wonderful decision at such a young age. We celebrated with Pink Swirls for the whole fam and we can't wait to find out when the next baptism bash is so that Daddy can baptize his firstborn! God is so good!

Pink Swirls!

Lifechurch.tv's videos starring Dot and Bouncy did such a great job explaining the whole salvation and baptism thing to Brighton. He had watched the ABC's of salvation a week or so before making this decision.

My Tips for New Foster Parents

Does it get any cuter than this?
One of my 1yr olds, my 2 yr old, and one of my 4 yr olds. :)

As a seasoned foster parent of 9 months, I thought I'd share some tips for the newbies. :) You'd be amazed how much you can learn with 3 foster children, 2 birth mothers, and 6 caseworkers in 9 months.

1. If you don't have peace about a placement when it's offered, wait for peace from God. He will give it to you. Don't just jump at the chance to take any and every child, even though your heart may desire it. Pray about it with your spouse and seek God's will before giving an answer.

2. Document EVERYTHING. I cannot stress this enough. Initially I would email the caseworker and copy myself about every little thing, probably contributing to the demise of a couple of our caseworkers. lol You must remember that even though these kids and the outcome of their case is vitally important to you, many of these caseworkers are dealing with extreme situations regarding other children and most likely won't get back to you about a scraped knee or a dirty look from a birth parent. Recently, I started emailing just the most important things and keeping a running journal in a Word document of the date and anything that happened that day that concerned the child, birth parent or caseworker. Turns out, the caseworkers and supervisors LOVE it. It's easy for them to look through and they always attach it to the court report for the judge. Here is an example of a few entries: (names and dates have been changed.)

• 6/05/12 – Birth mom (Jen) called at 8am. Told me she would not make it to speech this afternoon, but would try to next week.
• 6/07/12 – Jen called this morning to talk to Miss A since she missed her other phone calls this week. 
• 6/10/12 – Invited Jen to the spray park with us tomorrow at 1pm. 

I include doctor's appointments, visits with birth parents, any concerns and/or observations I make about the children's health, behavior, etc.

3. Visit the doctor frequently. Coming from a parent who has never had to take her biological children to the doctor for a sick visit, put them on an antibiotic or go to an ER, this was a BIG adjustment. These kids' immune systems are not great for many reasons, as you can imagine. If any of you can remember the case of the Edmond foster mother who was charged with child abuse last year, this is why documentation and doctor's visits are such a huge deal. This was going on when we were in the process of finalizing our certification and it was a huge deterrent for us. After researching the case more, the one thing that I believe could have prevented the charges and most importantly, the death of this child, was visits to the doctor. Take your new placement to the doctor ASAP after you pick them up. Get them in with Dr. Shropshire at the Fostering Hope Clinic or your own pediatrician to get a baseline reading of their health documented. From that point on, take them whenever they are sick. It is just not worth the risk of seeing if they'll be better in a couple days. These are not your children and their bodies react very differently than your biological children's do, most likely. I have gone to the doctor more times in the past 9 months than I have gone in the past 6 years all together with my other 3 children, and I'm okay with that. (I also recommend taking pictures and videos frequently as well to document how they're doing.)

4. Get permission from the bio parent and caseworker to cut the child's hair. Whoops... am I the only foster parent who didn't know this until afterwards??

5. This may sound harsh, but don't expect much from the biological parents. They were not raised like we were or loved like we were. A lot of them are incapable of being a healthy and effective parent. Try hard to refrain from judgment since you have not walked in their shoes. Just love them, even if they don't love you back. You might be the only person in their life who does.

6. Expect the unexpected. The theme for this month in our household is: Siblings. Let's just say that there will likely be a new addition to our crew towards the end of the year. Prayers are welcome and requested.

7. We have to remember why GOD called us to this. It wasn't so we could adopt a child, although that might happen. God's purpose for everything is to point us and others towards Christ and salvation. Take inventory of your emotions and actions often and make sure your heart is still where it needs to be. He will bless you and your family if you put Him first, even when it would be much easier not to.



Fellow foster parents... what did I miss? Add your tips in the comment section!! 

Trusting Him every day.

"God will make this happen, for he who calls you is faithful." 1 Thessalonians 5:24

2 Minutes

Our 2 minutes in front of the judge went something like this:

Judge: Ms. D, I have in front of me a piece of paper that states that you are relinquishing your parental rights to H. Is that correct?
Mama D: Yes, sir.

Judge: Ms. D, do you understand that by giving up your parental rights you have no say in medical decisions, where she goes to school or anything else in the future?

Mama D: Yes, sir.

Judge: Ms. D, Did anyone threaten, coerce or bribe you to sign this document?

Mama D: No, sir.

Judge: Ms. D, do you believe that this decision is in the best interest of H?

Mama D: Yes, sir.

Judge: By order of the court on July 26, 2012, parental rights of H. D. are terminated. We are off record now. Ms. D, I can tell that this decision did not come easy to you. I wish you the best of luck in life.

No doubt, the hardest moment of Mama D's life and one I will NEVER forget.

Rights relinquished.

We had court today for our 19 month old foster daughter, Baby H. It was a long morning. There was a misunderstanding about the time, so we had to wait until all the cases were heard and luckily the judge said he would go ahead and hear ours. The waiting area was filled with beautiful children. The morning consisted of finalized adoptions, joyous reunifications with birth parents and birth parents weeping at the outcome of their hearing.  A few months ago Baby H's father's rights were terminated and today her mother relinquished her rights. I am not quite sure how to process this event and my emotions. To look into a mother's tear-filled eyes after she signed papers to terminate her parental rights is absolutely heartbreaking. I have so much respect for this woman who by no fault of her own cannot parent her daughter. How do you explain to her God's plan in all of this?  It was stated in our paperwork that I am the only friend she has. How is that possible? Thank you Jesus for placing her in our lives.  I am so thankful that we get to start the adoption process and end this part of the journey, but where do I go from here? We want to reassure her that just because she's legally not Baby H's mother anymore, she will always be a part of her life if circumstances allow. We're having her over for breakfast Sunday morning and  we're planning on once a month visits and spending holidays together. I pray that she becomes part of our family as well. Thank you for your continued prayers and support. Our adoption hearing is the last week of November. 

 A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, 

    is God in his holy dwelling. 

⁶ 

God sets the lonely in families... Psalm 68:5-6

Don't Quit

Seth and I have a lot of friends right now that are going through the process to become foster parents. It is such a blessing to have friends that would even consider going through this unknown journey to help a child without a family. It is a huge step of faith to take and currently, some of them are entering the doubting phase of the certification process. Is this the right time? Can we risk everything? Could we give them back if we had to? I wanted to write this blog to reassure them and anyone else in a similar situation that these feelings are completely normal. God is stretching your faith and you're going to have growing pains. Seth and I quit the fostering process twice. That's right, two different times. Praise God in heaven that He wouldn't let us give up though and we finished with a stronger faith and clearer calling than when we had begun.

Dear friends,

I know what you are going through right now. We were right there this time 1 year ago, so consider this me speaking to you from your future. :) When you pick up your first placement, all your fears will disappear. Instead of worrying about what could happen to you, you will worry about what could have happened to this child without you stepping in and stepping up. You will grow closer to God every day as you act as Jesus' hands and feet to feed, love and protect these precious, innocent children. Months from now, you will get on your knees and thank God with tears streaming down your face for not letting you give up because you can't imagine your life without this child or children in it. You will look at their beautiful, smiling faces and listen to their laughter while they run around like "normal" children. And then you will thank God again. 

To quote a fellow foster mom blogger, 

"I could have been like so many others that said "I just couldn't do it, I couldn't give them back", but instead I said YES! I will do it, even if I get hurt in the end.

And look what God did when I did that." - Mama Foster

Craig Groeschel