I Surrender
2 days ago, Judah woke up from a nap vomiting over and over again - much different from spitting up. To see a tiny baby dry heave because there's nothing left in his tummy is hard to watch. His fontanel has widened, due to his head swelling. His head is measuring at 17 inches, when a week ago, it was 16 1/4. Once we figured that out, it became clear that the vomiting and extreme lethargy is from the pressure increasing in his head. The widening and recession began days before the vomiting started, so I know that it is all not from dehydration. Over the past 48 hours, he has kept down only an ounce of formula. He either will not take it, or throws it up about a half hour later. We have had our children say goodbye, his birth parents have been out. Seth and I have cried alligator tears. And we wait. How long could this go on? How many times will we say goodbye? My heart can hardly take this suspense. I feel like I can't breathe today. I don't know if it's from a hope