Former Foster Mama...

2 weeks ago we closed our home. I had fought and wrestled with this decision for months while we waited for our adoption to finalize. Initially we decided to stay open, even taking another 2 year old for a month. While we had this placement, our newly adopted children were a little confused with DHS at our house and their foster sister leaving for visits with birth parents. They began to ask when they were going to have more visits and if they were going to be leaving as well. My husband and I were both stretched very thin. We were just in survival mode. After a Saturday morning of cleaning up diarrhea on walls and bedding, we made the decision to close. I cried writing the email and wondering where this 2 year old would end up while praying that we were just a stepping stone to the perfect family for her. The new foster mom contacted me and we talked and I had so much peace. This little girl is getting so much more attention than I ever could have given her. When she left and we officially closed, I expected to breakdown, but it never came. I am so relieved and happy to be able to focus on MY family! We get to choose who we want in our life and our children's lives now!! The freedom that comes with this will definitely take awhile to process. It's been almost 4 years with DHS constantly all up in our kool-aid. :) We are free!!! I can cut my kid's hair, leave the state, change my phone number... ahh, the list is endless!

Lord, my God. You sustained us these past 4 years. You provided for us. You gave us compassion for those who seemed unlovable. You gave us strength to endure and to forgive so many times when we thought we couldn't show one more ounce of mercy. You filled this house with love and laughter and Your Spirit. How thankful we are Lord!! In You, we can do all things! We can do all things with great love ONLY because You live within us. We are unworthy and undeserving of Your blessings, but You so greatly bestow them upon us. May Your name be lifted high always by our words and our life. My ultimate joy is found in You alone. May I never forget that truth.

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