Thank you, Sam Roberts.

I have been living off of the fumes from our God "high" and revelation a few months back that we have been called by God to become foster parents and to create as much awareness about the crisis as possible. When we began this journey, we jumped in head first. We cancelled our construction loan, applied to live at a ranch for foster families and believed that we would soon be able to help three children by fostering. Seth mentioned to me at that point that we needed to be on the lookout for spiritual attacks by Satan since we were following so closely to God. It didn't take long for them to start coming...
  • Attack #1: Seth lost his job. That's okay though, he can collect unemployment until he finds something else. It shouldn't affect the ranch application or fostering since we've gotten pretty good at supporting ourselves on little income. 
  • Attack #2: Ranch application denied one week later because we have too many biological children. That's okay though, we were actually beginning to feel like it was not the ideal place that God had planned for us. We can still help and foster one child in our current home. 
  • Attack #3: Two weeks later, unemployment application denied by his former employer. Boom!! All my balloons were officially popped. Not only can we not foster now, but we have to figure out a way to meet our immediate financial needs until Seth finds a job making adequate income. 
In the midst of all this, my anxiety has returned. These attacks cause me to constantly be out of breath, have mood swings often, and honestly, be a pretty crappy wife, mother and friend. My foster parent training classes start next week. My new spirit of defeat that I had taken on emailed my trainer last night and told her that I wasn't going to make it due to Seth's unemployment situation. What a lousy excuse. That had nothing to do with it. It was my way of giving up on God's plan and admitting defeat. 

Owen was sick today and it made for a long day, which Satan tried to use to talk me out of going to church tonight. Thankfully though, my sweet friend, Shelby, needed a ride and it was enough motivation to get me there. Praise and worship was amazing and I really felt God's hand on me. I prayed that if I was meant to attend this foster parent training on Monday that he would let me know through this message.  From Seth's training in April, I knew that Sam and his wife were using the same private agency that we were and also attending the same training that I was supposed to attend. I could not believe it when he popped up on the screen to preach. Immediately I thought, "I'm supposed to go to training...." and then Satan chimed in, "Wait! Maybe he won't even say anything about fostering. It's just a coincidence that he's preaching." That's not how it went though. Sam and his wife's story sounded very similar to ours. They clearly heard God's call to foster, friends advised them against it, logic fought it, they second guessed their decision, but eventually were reassured of God's provision and continued on in the process. He quoted Numbers 11:23, "Is the Lord's arm too short?" It hit me like a ton of bricks. Is my faith so shallow that I don't believe that He can provide a job for Seth over this next month while I go through training? Absolutely not. 

He is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us and  being confident of this, that he who began a good work in us will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. (Ephesians 3:20, Phil. 1:6) 

So, Sam Roberts, thank you for your message tonight. Without it, I likely would have given up and only God knows what path outside of His will that would have taken us down. I will see you at training. God is good. 

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